A note to say that I’m sorry.

I’ve been calling on Forgiveness to pay me a visit all weekend
things I do when my hands are shaking
and my face is red
and I am just.
So so angry with you.
Maybe Forgiveness is just afraid.
That maybe you’ll come a kickin’
and a screamin’ on back to me
a place we both know you’re not really supposed to be right now.

And I wanted to call you to tell you I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I was angry,
I’m sorry I wanted you to say you were sorry,
I’m sorry I believed every lie that you told.
But mostly, I wanted to say sorry
For the red wine I spilled on your shirt;
That messy way I get when you pour the drinks
And it has been months. Please forgive me.
What else could you have expected from a blustering web of emotions,
someone so volatile as me?

Hey Forgiveness, I saved you a place
At the table. Maybe
You were too busy looking at the leaves.
The leaves are red. And he broke up with her weeks ago.
I’m sorry I believed every lie that you told.
Hey Forgiveness, come sit with me
There’s an empty seat
And I’m afraid of him.
Hey Forgiveness, give me the words to say.

I don’t know
I’m sorry
I wish I could tell you
How to make this better.
Forgiveness, show me the stars I can make
How the fireworks are mine now.
Show him regrets
And apologies
And show him how to beg like I do. Show him how to make it the same again.
Show him how to miss and long and draw lines on maps
Or something like that.
I’m sorry
I wish I could tell you
How to make this better.

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